8 Takeaways From A Week of Training With World Renowned Sex Masters
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This past week, I had the profound privilege of attending the in-person retreat for Dr. Saida Desilets’ Embodied Psychosexual Practitioner Training in Sedona. As someone who has always been a cerebral learner, it was my love of inquiry that first led me to the field of sexology. Over the years, I’ve unraveled so much on a psychological level—from understanding how our kinks and desires are formed and what our fantasies reveal about us, to exploring reproductive anatomy and clinical interventions for anorgasmia, erectile dysfunction, and more.
But there’s always been something missing: embodiment. Otherwise known as practice what you preach.
My relationship to sex and sexuality has been, to say the least, complex. From the early days of performative sex in high school to my time in sex work, my experiences often led to dissociation or spectatoring—when one becomes hyper-aware of how they appear or perform during sex rather than being fully present (Masters & Johnson, 1970). I kept my past hidden from romantic partners and lived in constant fear of being outed. My sexual expression, like so many other aspects of my life, became a performance—one rooted in deep fear of truly being seen.
And yet, amidst it all, there were glimmers—moments of magic. Times when I inadvertently tapped into my sexual energy alone or shared an electric connection with a partner that felt completely different from the rest. In the words of Tantra master Diana Richardson, “When those moments occurred, time seemed to stop, become elastic, and the air, the space around me opened up to reveal a new dimension of sensual perception.” In those fleeting instances, I felt as if I had accessed the very essence of life itself—what it means to embody love and limitless power. And yet if I heard myself utter these words even a few months back, I would have gagged (not in the erotic sense).
Those moments became portals to possibility, and they’ve shaped my life’s purpose: to explore sexuality in its fullest expression—biological, psychological, sexual, and spiritual. In healing myself and expanding my own erotic landscape, I’ve been able to support others in doing the same. But don’t get me wrong, there’s always a place for the quick and dirty.
1.The Heart-Cervix Connection Is Real
I know because I lived it this week after a deep session of sexological bodywork that triggered a euphoric and transformative heart opening. If you’ve ever been brought to tears during sex, this is likely (or hopefully) the reason why. The cervix is rich in vagus nerve endings, the same nerve that connects your heart and gut, meaning when it’s activated — gently, safely, and with presence — it opens a direct channel to your emotional core. This is why cervical orgasms often feel less like a climax and more like a spiritual release: grief, love, and joy flood the system, sometimes all at once. Unlike clitoral stimulation which typically triggers the sympathetic (fight-or-flight) response, cervical activation taps the parasympathetic (rest-and-receive) system, putting the body into a surrendered, expansive state. This is where we experience the elusive “heartgasm” — a full-body, full-soul eruption of love, connection, and release. But it’s not something you can rush or jackhammer your way into. Most cervixes are armored from years of disconnection, pain, or trauma, so they need time, trust, and breath to soften. When they do? You don’t just orgasm — you feel, you heal, you remember yourself.
Want to try it yourself? Check out Cervix: Self Massage To Promote Healing
2. Practice Thrusting & Twerking To Become A Sex God
If you think great sex is just about having a big dick or lasting forever, think again. What actually sets sex gods apart? Pelvic mobility. Most men are wildly disconnected from their hips — stiff, locked up, and relying on jackhammer thrusts that bypass rhythm, depth, and connection. Practicing thrusting and yes, twerking, isn’t just for show — it’s somatic sex work. It trains your glutes, core, and lower back to move with nuance, stamina, and sensuality. Thrusting is not about pounding; it’s about pulsing, grinding, circling, teasing. The more control you have over your pelvis, the more you can modulate your arousal, maintain your erection, and sync with your partner's breath and body. In addition, the twerking motion can trigger squirting as the motion activates her urethral sponge and perennial wall. Loosen your spine, rotate those hips, and learn to move from your sacrum like it’s sacred. Videos cumming next month!
3. Penis Stretching Helps You Last Longer and Maintain Your Length & Girth
Otherwise known as “Jelqing”. Think of your penis like any other body part — if you don't use it, you lose it. While the gym bros are doing bicep curls, what are you doing for your pelvic floor, your blood flow, and your erectile elasticity? Gentle, consistent penis stretching not only promotes circulation and tissue health, it also helps maintain (and sometimes even increase) length and girth over time. But more importantly, it reconditions your nervous system to tolerate arousal without tipping into climax too quickly. When done mindfully, stretching trains your body to stay in a parasympathetic state longer — meaning you’re calm, grounded, and present rather than spiraling toward a fast, disconnected orgasm. This builds stamina, helps you last longer, and rewires your erotic baseline from reactive to responsive. Think of it as sexual mobility work. Your cock is more than a tool — it’s tissue, blood, breath, and nerve. Treat it accordingly. On that note, I have an entire arsenal of penile exercises that will enhance performance, connection and aesthetic I’ll be launching as part of my program next month.
To get started, here is a step by step on how to do the exercise:
Penis Stretching: How It Works
4. The Same Tools That Combat ED Also Help With Premature Ejaculation
You might think erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation are opposites — one’s about not getting hard, the other about not lasting — but they actually stem from the same core issue: nervous system dysregulation. When you’re locked in fight-or-flight, your body either shuts down (ED) or goes into overdrive (PE). The solution? Somatic reconditioning. The same exercises I teach for boosting blood flow, breath control, and pelvic awareness work both ways. Gentle penis stretching, pelvic floor training, and embodied arousal techniques help you stay present, build tolerance to sensation, and train your body to operate from a parasympathetic (rest-and-receive) state. The result? Stronger erections, longer sessions, and a regulated, responsive system that isn’t hijacked by anxiety. It’s not about performance hacks — it’s about mindful embodiment.
5. Vibrators DO, In Fact, Desensitize Us
Similar to how chronic porn watching can anesthetize men, chronic vibrator use does the same for women. Why? Vibrators emanate an unfamiliar, external vibration that triggers our sympathetic nervous system resulting in a high tension induced orgasm. Very quickly, we acclimatize to a peak experience that cannot be co-created with a partner, which forms a co-dependency with the device. This disrupts the natural pattern of our bodies to oscillate between sympathetic and parasympathetic arousal, otherwise known as “relaxed arousal”. If you’re leaning solely on sympathetic orgasm, that will inevitably induce disconnection between you and your partner. Maybe men feel threatened by your vibrator because it quite literally creates disconnection, not because they don’t want you to experience pleasure.
6. Anxiety Is An Aphrodisiac
Ever since I experienced a full body orgasm sans touch in the back seat of a taxi when I realized I had missed my return flight from Lollapolooza in 2009 with less than $10 in my bank account, I’ve been on a quest to unlock why this occurred. Turns out, it’s two fold. Due to evolutionary biology, we equate an event like missing a flight with no resources to having a wild tiger kill our caveman leaving us famished and vulnerable. That’s when our survival response kicks and we feel the need to procreate as fast as possible, because our days are numbered. In addition, fear, anxiety, and sexual arousal all activate the autonomic nervous system, especially the sympathetic branch (aka fight-or-flight). Symptoms include increased heart rate, faster breathing, spikes in body temperature and rapid blood flow to certain areas of the body such as genitalia. Fear and anxiety also trigger an adrenaline surge which increases arousal and alertness simultaneously.
For more information on the negative aphrodisiacs, read Jack Morin’s “The Erotic Mind”.
7. Prayer and Orgasm Activate the Same Part of the Brain
Ever had a transformative orgasmic experience? Neuroscience confirms what mystics and lovers have known for centuries: orgasm and deep prayer light up the same areas of the brain. Both experiences activate the limbic system, responsible for pleasure, emotion, and bonding, while quieting the prefrontal cortex — that busybody part of the brain that tracks time, ego, and productivity. In both prayer and orgasm, we lose our sense of self and melt into something greater. That’s because dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins flood the system, and the periaqueductal gray — the part of the brain tied to both pain modulation and orgasmic release — switches on. Whether you're on your knees in devotion or in pleasure, the body doesn’t differentiate. It just knows: this is sacred.
For more information, check out the study:
Alterations in Functional Connectivity Measured by Functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging and the Relationship With Heart Rate Variability in Subjects After Performing Orgasmic Meditation: An Exploratory Study
8. Why Penetrative Sex Outshines Solo Play and Noncoital Activities
Penetrative sex isn’t just about friction — it’s about fusion. According to a study of nearly 3,000 people, penile-vaginal intercourse (PVI) was the only sexual behavior linked to higher sexual, life, relationship, and mental health satisfaction. Masturbation and noncoital partnered play? Not so much — in fact, the more frequent those were (in isolation), the lower the reported satisfaction. Why? Because PVI offers something deeper: a physiological and emotional feedback loop that solo sex or outercourse just can’t replicate. The pelvic motions, the mutual surrender, the full-body rhythm — it creates a hormonal cocktail of oxytocin, dopamine, and endorphins that bond you, ground you, and even elevate your baseline mood. It’s not about heteronormativity or performance — it’s about presence, depth, and energetic exchange. Penetrative sex has the power to regulate your nervous system, strengthen your emotional core, and flood your brain with the kind of connection that lingers long after the orgasm fades.
For more information, check out the study:
Satisfaction (sexual, life, relationship, and mental health) is associated directly with penile-vaginal intercourse, but inversely with other sexual behavior frequencies
Want To Work With Me?
🔹 Discover Who You Are as a Man
- Clarify your identity, core values, and relationship blueprint
- Understand the difference between conditioned masculinity and embodied masculinity
- Get clear on your sexual archetype — and how it shapes your desires, behaviors, and potential
🔹 Rewrite Your Relationship Patterns
- Break free from the women, dynamics, and sex that no longer serve you
- Heal anxious or avoidant attachment and become securely rooted in your body and heart
- Attract and co-create with emotionally available, passionate, sexually sovereign women
🔹 Reclaim Your Erotic Power
- Learn the components of mind-blowing, healthy, transformative sex
- Master penis and pelvis exercises to enhance girth, endurance, performance and nervous system regulation
🔹 Be The BEST She's Ever Had
- Master the principles of pleasure anatomy, tantra, and power dynamics.
- Learn a psychologically grounded framework to attract your ideal partners — without compromising your integrity.
- Develop next-level skills and embodied techniques that will leave a lasting impression — mentally, emotionally, and physically.
🔹 Unplug From the Hedonic Treadmill
- Stop chasing novelty and start building real, nourishing erotic fulfillment
- Reprogram the nervous system for relaxed arousal instead of peak-performance anxiety
- Detox from vibrators, porn, and short-term validation in favor of sustained connection
